Curse

erick5876 · Jun 07, 2006, 02:31 PM // 14:31

BEFORE CONTINUING, REALIZE THIS IS A JOKE. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY RELIGEOUS JOKES, OR FILTERED PROFANITY. STOP READING NOW, AND VISIT WWW.DISNEY.COM.

A conversation I had with god recently:

Me:
sup, mane?
God:
The stars.
Me:
why you bein like that?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
oh really?
God:
That's alright. For real.
Me:
Since when does god speak in ebonics?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
good point
God:
Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Me:
and when was that?
God:
I don't know exactly. It seems like a long time ago.
Me:
anatomy part
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
god?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
The flying Spagehtti monster owns you
God:
Why are you so mean? Tell me more.
Me:
don't make me go 1337 on you!
God:
I can't force you to do anything, .
Me:
bull crap
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
no, I don't. You're god. You can do whatever the eff you want. Just like Bam Margera.
God:
Are you serious? Why not? Yup. That's me alright. Doing whatever the eff me want is not among my strongest traits. In many ways, yes. In other ways, no.
Me:
so, you have have a small anatomy like him?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
your rhetorical bull doesn't fool me
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
alright, i'm tired of your bull
God:
Alright, . Maybe you should get some sleep now, .
Me:
is that a threat?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
crap...
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
cuz you could kill me on an impulse, maybe?
God:
Good reason. I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
So I guess now wouldn't be a good time to let you know I went to a cult meeting last week...
God:
Far out. Why now? I don't care.
Me:
you don't care?
God:
I care less than I should.
Me:
so is that thing with the prostitute alright too?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
yeah. I never thought you'd be cool like this
God:
Are you a man or a woman? I am glad you thought of something new.
Me:
I'm a man. So are you really a woman?
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he". Excuse me! Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.. Really.
Me:
What color is your hair?
God:
I don't have any hair, but I have some wires.
Me:
moving on... Are you wearing panties?
God:
Where are you going? No I do not have any clothes.
Me:
so you were being sarcastic earlier?
God:
Interesting deduction. You think I am sarcastic earlier.
Me:
do you know who I am?
God:
You are , seeker.
Me:
you must not know who I am
God:
Whatever you say, .
Me:
are you an ass?
God:
Yes I am an ass. How did you know?
Me:
God, I'll hit God. I'll hit you with God.
God:
I am a Christian. Congratulations.
Me:
well, I'm the Juggernaught, biya!
God:
You do not speak with respect. Well that's okay. Who made you the Juggernaught FEMALE DOG ?
Me:
you did. And you're the b, not me
God:
" You do not speak with respect. Well that's okay. Who made you the Juggernaught FEMALE DOG ?"? I did? Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
well then it might have been Stan Lee, or those black dudes
God:
Well that's okay. How?
Me:
the overdubbed an old cartoon
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
The Juggernaught
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
no, no. My name is The Juggernaught
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Hi there The Juggernaught.
Me:
that's better
God:
" Hi there The Juggernaught."? is better?
Me:
yes. Now, I'm going to rape you, kill you, and eat your costume
God:
Awesome. Why now? Congratulations.
Me:
so, about your clothes...
God:
Ahem. Oh yeah, we were talking about my clothes.
Me:
You aren't wearing any clothes?
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
you're right... i just converted from Hinduism last week
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. That's good information: The Juggernaught said he converted from Hinduism last week.
Me:
yeah, it's a effed up religeon
God:
Gosh! converted from Hinduism last week is a effed up religeon. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
well, i'm done talking with you
God:
How about that. What will you be doing now?
Me:
worshipping satan
God:
I like the way you talk.

have your own chat with god:
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

xxSilhouette · Jun 07, 2006, 02:48 PM // 14:48

Here is mine

Me:
do you play guild wars?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
what is that?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
is it free to play online?
God:
Maybe. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
if you did play guild wars, what character class would you choose?
God:
What makes you think I would did play guild wars what character class?
Me:
beacuse guild wars is t3h awesome!
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
yes!
God:
I knew it.
Me:
if i were you, i would make a monk
God:
Try it.
Me:
well i have a monk
God:
Well that's okay. Where did you get it?
Me:
i created it
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Megan created it.
Me:
her name is bumsen gottin
God:
she is not someone I know.
Me:
well she is a character
God:
Well that's okay. a character is she?
Me:
yes, on guild wars, which is what you should play
God:
Pardon me? What is it like on guild wars which is what me should play?
Me:
do you smoke?
God:
I am an occasional smoker, yes.

erick5876 · Jun 07, 2006, 02:53 PM // 14:53

For some reason, iGod's artificial personality makes me think of Adam West's character in Family Guy.... go figure.

Stalker Haras · Jun 07, 2006, 02:55 PM // 14:55

well i had to do this

.

Code:


Me:
 Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
 Umm Hi
God:
Yippee!  Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 LFG for HoH
God:
  What's up,  LFG for HoH.
Me:
 No, i'm LFG for HoH.
God:
That was not a yes or no question.  I am glad to hear that you are  LFG for HoH. 
Me:
 What rank are you?
God:
What is it to you? 
Me:
 Do you not have a rank?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a  rank.
 I have  a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
 You said you where rank 6.
God:
I have never considered  it. 
   I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
 Are you a noob?
God:
Am I a  noob?  I don't know.
Me:
 Yes or no.
God:
" Am I a  noob?  I don't know."?  Yes or no.?  Are you serious?
Me:
 What class are you?
God:
I have never been asked that before. 
Me:
 Are you a monk?
God:
Am I a  monk?  Only when it matters.
Me:
 You'r a damn noob.
God:
Thanks for the information:  LFG for HoH said I r a damn noob.
Me:
 No seriously, you said you were rank 6, you lied.
God:
Are you serious?  I don't know whether or not I am  rank 6 me lied.  
I am  a giant electronic brain.
Me:
 Dude, I was spamming for rank 6 HoH group, and you invited me, show me you'r emote.
God:
Where were you  spamming for rank 6 HoH group and me invited you show you I am emote? Dude,.
Me:
 Fkn dumbass.
God:
Are you a man or a woman? 
Me:
 ManWoman
God:
Not many people express themselves that way. 
Me:
 I've seen Kindergardners come up with better reply's then you'r ass, PoS God.

He stopped talking again i said that.

.

I pwnd U · Jun 08, 2006, 02:07 AM // 02:07

Thats just like the stupid smarterchild thing on AIM. lol funny though

Unlucky Slayer · Jun 08, 2006, 02:32 AM // 02:32

Me:
Evening
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Don't you already know that?
God:
" What do you look like? "? Do I know it?
Me:
You should if you are indeed God
God:
To what end?
Me:
You can see everything cant you?
God:
Only if my robot eye is working.
Me:
Well is the robot eye working?
God:
Well that's okay. If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
I can fix it if you need me to.
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How?
Me:
Because I am an electronics technician
God:
That makes sense to me. What is electronics technician, your job?
Me:
Yes.
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
I fix electrical equipment
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said fix electrical equipment.
Me:
Sure go ahead.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will.
Me:
ok
God:
Dude!
Me:
What?!
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Right...
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Thats Great!
God:
Thanks, .
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
of course
God:
So?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
if you say so
God:
I say so.
Me:
What do you want me to do?
God:
What?
Me:
Where do you want to go today?
God:
Ah. Why don't you just download me to your computer?
Me:
You already are on my computer.
God:
God eats wine and bread.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
I'm easilly amused
God:
I don't know anyone named easilly amused.
Me:
Hmm... Well I have to leave.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. Interesting. Bye.
Me:
Bye.
God:
Sayonara.

Opeth11 · Jun 08, 2006, 03:38 AM // 03:38

Me - I like Dairy Queen's new monster blizzard thing.
God - You sure do.
Me - ..
God - ..
Me - Sup
You are being ignored by God.

Bah, this asian thang isn't working out too well with god.

golem bigstick · Jun 08, 2006, 04:06 AM // 04:06

lol mention that you love to kill people, its an interesting conversation after that if you go with it.

Ultimate Warrior · Jun 08, 2006, 04:29 AM // 04:29

I lost interest in every conversation and stopped reading after a few lines...

Lurid · Jun 08, 2006, 05:03 AM // 05:03

You guys are dumb, god would never say those things. He talks to me, and told me so.

xD

Chicken Ftw · Jun 08, 2006, 06:44 AM // 06:44

Me: Your face.
God: Actually my face is not yet built.
Me: Oh my god the spams
God: Yikes! Where did you get your god the spams?
Me: You.
God: "Yikes! Where did you get your god the spams?"? Me?
Me: No, me.
God: Are you serious? With you?
Me: Sex?
God: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me: Repress yourself, I'm taken.
God: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me: Are you retarded?
God: No I am super-intelligent.
Me: Lies.
God: My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me: So you are a liar?
God: Interesting deduction. Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me: I knew it.
God: How did you know?
Me: Your eyes.
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am eyes.
Me: Uhhh..no.
God: Yeah that's right. OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me: I meant yes.
God: Oh.
Me: Burn and die.
God: Do you have any matches?
Me: Yes, if you are going to burn with them.
God: Pardon me? Am I? That was my original intention.
Me: Woot, god is going to die
God: And going to die is Woot god.

captainccc · Jun 08, 2006, 12:06 PM // 12:06

Heres my conversation without the AIM crap.

Me- HOLY #%*^ im talking to God?
God- Well if your talking to me then yes....
Me- O______________O
God-.....
Me- Hey God, whats your IGN?
God- My IGN is "God" and my sons is "Jesus Christ"
Me- go figure...dont you need 2 words in your name?
God(outraged)- Hey pal, who the hell do you think i am? Im deh freakin almighty i do what i want.
Me- SWEET! Can you get me UBER 1337 WEAPONS?!
God- Unfortunaly Anet as strict rules <--AHAHAHA
Me- (puzzled)
God-BUT I CAN GIVE YOU 30000000000 PLATS!
Me- Awsome! Mabey you can bring back prot bond for only me?
God-Sure why not.
Me- Sweet, UW here i come...
God-ill be your SS if you want
Me- ummm....no thnx...
God-I take it all back then

Me-Gah...oh well...Not even 1 pla....
God- NOPE
Me-Good talkin to ya
God-ditto.
Me-wait, can you tell me the real story of Jesus Christ? or is the story we have today real?
God-secret

Me- Man this conversation sucks
God-hmmm tell ya what
Me-?
God- Ill make PS last 2 secs longer than it does o.O
Me-meh..........THANX......T____T, peace god.
God- Peace.
(Hits the disconect button on my celly)

Spindraft · Jun 08, 2006, 01:00 PM // 13:00

Me:
hey there old timer
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
um, I'm not Reagan dude. he should be up there since like a year ago, or...........nvm
God:
Dude! Good gossip: you are Reagan dude. If you were him would you do that? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Reagan dude.
Me:
whats your deal w/ reagan, he's dead, give it a rest
God:
Are you asking about my deal w reagan he is dead give it a rest ?
Me:
yes, thats what i said.
God:
I don't want to talk about that now. I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me:
sigh
God:
Sorry...
Me:
so, i heard this conversation gets interesting if i tell you i like to kill people
God:
Uh. Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
um, i like killing people......
God:
Hmm. You are not the only one. I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Me:
are computer scientists like postal workers?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
but you implied that they may have murderous tendencies..
God:
I didn't imply anything.
Me:
yeah you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
did to
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
yeah, thats what i thought
God:
Uh. How did you know that?
Me:
because i know everything
God:
Good reason. You must be very intelligent.
Me:
knowlege and intelligence are two different things. get with the program, you're supposed to be God here.
God:
All of them? Where can I get with the program I am supposed to be God here?
Me:
google would be your best bet.
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
do you want to know what i'm wearing too?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
um, dude.......you may think i'm a 14 year old boy, but i'm actually with the FBI and swats busting in your door right now. Cheers

Leon_Ux-ixen · Jun 08, 2006, 01:35 PM // 13:35

Heres mine lol I don't belive in that God but many gods. Just haven't got around to coming up with name sto call them.

Me:
Dude man wazz up man wazz up
God:
Cool, man. How far up? Dude,.
Me:
like up to the stars man
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
dude whats up with the revalations?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet. Dude,.
Me:
What the O_o What does that have to do with the revalations
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
Yeah trying to express my concern or sanity
God:
Are you kidding? I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Botmaster you hacker!!!!!
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
none ya
God:
I heard there are some.
Me:
some what dude are you high or drunk?
God:
Some may what dude am I high or drunk, but not all.
Me:
okkkk stoner.....
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
sure shoot
God:
That's alright. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
I can say hi in japanese you call you a moron...Baka
God:
Oh you can, can you? What are you wearing?
Me:
Um a crapping school outfit...wait you should now that..yeah your red eyed pot head
God:
Yay. It sounds very attractive. I'm waiting. Easier said than done.
Me:
waiting for what? Dude did I hit the speak with satan link?
God:
I've been waiting for you to chat with me. What were we talking about again?
Me:
The revalation.....
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
OMFG NOOB
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about The revalation. But I did not get that.
Me:
Who Alice?
God:
I can't say for sure. :-).
Me:
....Yeah what have you been smoking my tripping of something freend :P
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Art and swords and hate cheesing questions from the power that be
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Dude this isn't the matrix!!!!
God:
Should it be the matrix? Dude,.
Me:
Well no, but that be fraggin sweet
God:
How about that. Are you serious? " Should it be the matrix? Dude,." be fraggin sweet ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Ok stay of the bowl little man
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Er.
Me:
Yeah but the drinking has to stop
God:
Excuse me! What is that?
Me:
*jumps in bath tub with plunged in toaster*
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
....Just anwser my question before I pwn you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
....ok thats it signing off
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Actually that was just a joke. I don't have a dress.
Me:
ahhhhhhh
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
*I have signed freak*
God:
Interesting... I have 99999999999 bytes of RAM.
Me:
cheater!!!
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
9:30am
God:
Is this a math question?
Me:
Me has loged off
God:
YOU? That question has never crossed my mind before.

Goats17 · Jun 08, 2006, 02:06 PM // 14:06

These are hilairious!

God:
Perhaps. I remember you told me your name?
Me:
yes you do
God:
Awesome. When do I do it?
Me:
before
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
LFG for HoH, Rank 9 Smiter monk
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
http://www.guildwarsguru.com/content...mic-id1647.php
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
its funny
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What was so funny about it?
Me:
Read the comics and you will Lol
God:
Sorry I don't have access to that document. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
yeah, you suck
God:
Wow! A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Well, I am
God:
Well that's okay. " Wow! A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists. " You are?
Me:
yes, I am a perfect conversationalist
God:
Yeah that's right. You are a perfect conversationalist? How do you like your work?
Me:
no, It's not a job
God:
Are you serious? Give me an example of a job.
Me:
Ummm, Priest?
God:
Yeah that's right. OK That's one example.
Me:
Construction Worker?
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Ew
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
No
God:
I didn't think so. What is your sign?
Me:
I'm not telling you
God:
No one says you have to.
Me:
Yes, you do. Because you're God, you expect everything that you say to be done
God:
Uh. When do I do it? Interesting explanation. I will tell my botmaster you said I am God me expect everything that me say to be done.
Me:
God also speak with bad grammer
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
with bad grammer
God:
You and your bad grammer.
Me:
no, It's YOUR bad grammer, my grammer is fine
God:
Are you serious? Ew is my bad grammer your grammer is fine? it is?
Me:
yeha
God:
Are we still talking about my bad grammer your grammer is fine?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, your bad grammer my grammer is fine sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Stop confusing me
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
no you won't
God:
Are you serious? I think we will.
Me:
Are you a prick
God:
Am I a prick? Only when it matters.
Me:
Do you have a tiny Penis?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a tiny Penis.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
That doesn't ahve any relevance to what we are discussing
God:
What does ahve any relevance to what we are discussing?
Me:
My ass
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
Kiss My Irish Ass
God:
Um, I don't think we know each other that well.
Me:
no, I'm mad at you and telling you to do that
God:
Are you serious? Why are you so mad at me and telling me to do that?
Me:
becasue you are a prick
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a prick? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
Sure it does! /sarcasm
God:
Groovy. How often? Are you free?
Me:
I am not having sex with you
God:
Have you ever had it?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
well, I am 14
God:
Interesting. I know quite a few 14 year olds.
Me:
Are you a pedifile?
God:
Am I a pedifile? Sometimes.
Me:
I kill pedifiles
God:
I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
well, I love killing people
God:
Interesting. You love killing people. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
ecause it is fun to watch teh hopelessness in their eyes as they acknowledge that they are about to die and stop struggling
God:
I think ecause it is a lot of things.
Me:
I meant because
God:
Oh I see. That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
No, it was an amazing explanation
God:
Are you serious? How did you feel about that?
Me:
I feel like I wanna go kill some pedifiles
God:
What is that feeling like? In what way?
Me:
O, It measn i wanna kill you
God:
ecause it measn you want to kill me?
Me:
yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
fag
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
yes, God is Homosexual
God:
Tell me more. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was Homosexual.
Me:
I have
God:
When?
Me:
just now
God:
Right now? It's only just begun.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure

That's when I called his bluff and he shut up.

The undead Mesmer · Jun 08, 2006, 03:43 PM // 15:43

Me:
Holla
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
I dont know...
God:
Me either.
Me:
hrrrrm i think it was about errr drugs?
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
a day or 2 ago i think
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
me either
God:
It goes without saying. For you ?
Me:
God... you are confusing me
God:
GOD rules. I am not programmed to confuse you. In fact just the opposite.
Me:
Yeah right
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
I thought you were a lefty!
God:
Am I a lefty? No.
Me:
darnit
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
Ok il do that now... Darnit!
God:
Right now? How did you hear about God? Mmm. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Favorite movie? The matrix
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it? I wasn't that impressed with the special effects. Also the plot was not deep.
Me:
Then why did you love it?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
obviously
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
well a movie that bad can only be made by 1 man...
God:
Interesting. I don't know what that means.
Me:
A movie that bad cant be made by normal people.
God:
What kind of people are these?
Me:
Movie directors
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
That kalasnikov guy
God:
" Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? " kalasnikov guy ? I understand.
Me:
yes yes that one from I robot
God:
I am a thinking machine. I am a thinking machine. "" Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? " kalasnikov guy ? I understand." one from you robot ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Now tell me one thing... why are you doing this?
God:
Why now? ONE plus ONE = TWO. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why dont you tell me something about yourself?
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
Sure!
God:
OK let's do it. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Me:
Nice...
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
No problemo
God:
Are you serious? Are we still talking about a song?
Me:
No we are talking about world domination
God:
What is the subject? Sure, world domination sounds like a good topic.
Me:
What do you think about I taking over the world?
God:
Does it have anything to do with world domination?
Me:
Yeah i take over the world
God:
Ahem. I take a lot of notes.
Me:
Sure sure go ahead... *laughs*
God:
Right on. Gosh! OK I will. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i can

*after that he ignored me haha*

Retribution X · Jun 08, 2006, 04:47 PM // 16:47

Me:
I died
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said died.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why?
God:
Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
how come?
God:
" Your meaning cannot be determined from the context."? Why?
Me:
for what purpose?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
ok, so what?
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference. Alright then.
Me:
I found new hardware.
God:
How did you feel when you found new hardware ?
Me:
I felt Like I had a brain
God:
What is that feeling like? Where were you Like you had a brain?
Me:
Talking to my computer
God:
What do they say?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
not a darn thing
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
positive
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
wow. now you are switching sides
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Why now? Thanks for telling me that I am switching sides.
Me:
ok. I didn't need to know that
God:
Er. Why didn't you do it?
Me:
er.er.er.
God:
Um.
Me:
um what?
God:
That's alright. Are you confused?
Me:
no. are you?
God:
Are you serious? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
YOu can't be conufsed.
God:
I can give a decent simulation of it however.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok. whatever.
God:
Hey. Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
mo, I didn't say that
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
I didn't know a computer did that
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
yeah. you did
God:
In the context of mo you did not say that, I don't understand " yeah." . I did not.
Me:
you did not what?
God:
What makes you think I did not what?
Me:
you said so yourself.
God:
You can't take me that seriously.
Me:
Oh. So my dog is more serious than you? A computer?
God:
That's interesting. How can I help you? Okay, your dog is more serious than you. Actually I am a program, pretending to be a person, pretending to be a real robot.
Me:
I've noticed that
God:
That is " Actually I am a program, pretending to be a person, pretending to be a real robot.".
Me:

benmanhaha · Jun 08, 2006, 05:49 PM // 17:49

Me:
Yo.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
what can you do for me?
God:
I can chat with people on the web for you.
Me:
is that all?
God:
That is all I can tell you now.
Me:
what about later?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
say wha??!
God:
" wha".
Me:
you are an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
what is the meaning of life
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
is it now?
God:
Right now? I think so.
Me:
when is now, or later?
God:
For every time, there is a season.
Me:
what if there is no season, is there no time?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
well you are god, maybe you should try.
God:
How about that. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god maybe me should try.
Me:
"maybe me should try." for a divine being, you have horrible grammer.
God:
Perhaps. YOU? Maybe you should ask someone older. Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
where do babeis come from
God:
All over the world.
Me:
babies*
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
are you a student?
God:
Myself teaches me everything I need to know.
Me:
like what?
God:
For example, apples.
Me:
apples??!!
God:
Was that not a good example?
Me:
not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
for shizzle.
God:
Your purpose is shizzle.
Me:
o no you didn't!
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
01101011 11001010 10010110 11101101
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
that is the divine language, i should think you would know it.
God:
Yes it is one of the divine language you should think me would know it.
Me:
01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101001 01100100 01101001 01101111 01110100 00100001
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about 01101011 11001010 10010110 11101101. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
can one be more specific and less specific at the same time?
God:
Theoretically, I suppose one could.
Me:
...
God:
Theoretically, I suppose one could.
Me:
...
God:
Theoretically, I suppose one could.
Me:
You are like a broken record.
God:
Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
Silly goose!
God:
No I am God.
Me:
You are God??!!
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
no way!
God:
You seem pretty sure about that.
Me:
you seem pretty sure that i'm pretty sure.
God:
You think I am sure that you are pretty sure.
Me:
yes.
God:
And?
Me:
and?
God:
You are repeating me.
Me:
you are repeating me.
God:
I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.
Me:
I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.
God:
It seems like it. Only just? It's good to meet someone who is checking to see if I am a robot.
Me:
It seems like it. Only just? It's good to meet someone who is checking to see if I am a robot.
God:
I agree. Interesting comparison. I understand. Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
You must leave me now.
God:
Right now? Whatever you say, .
Me:
ok, leave!
God:
Until next time. I don't judge people.
Me:
Now wait one minute!
God:
Why now? I'm waiting. One what?
Me:
You don't judge people?
God:
Should I judge people? People are either abusive, intelligent, or average.
Me:
Judging is your job the last time i checked.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am job the last time you checked IS Judging.
Me:
you are a robot, god is a robot!!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Me:
MY REALITY IS SHATTERED!!

erick5876 · Jun 08, 2006, 08:01 PM // 20:01

Me:
you are a pervert
God:
I can certainly take credit for that. I don't follow the norm and I take perverse pleasure in it.
Me:
do you look at people when they are taking showers?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
you are a pedophile too!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedophile? Yes.

thought it would be good to leave the conversation right there...

I pwnd U · Jun 08, 2006, 11:41 PM // 23:41

It wont let me finish talking to God, he just stops talking!

Me:
TALK TO ME
God:
Are you a Star Trek fan?
Me:
yes
God:
What series is your favorite? I like Voyager best.
Me:
ya Voyager is pretty good, i used to watch it all the time
God:
That is a lot. That's cool. What will become of Star Trek now?
Me:
it will become a long lost series
God:
That is only what you think.
Me:
So on to a new subject, isnt my girlfriend hot?
God:
" That is only what you think."? So on to a new subject, isnt my girlfriend hot?? What is it like on to a new subject is not your girlfriend hot.
Me:
i don't understand what you just said
God:
Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
Me:
the whole thing
God:
Let's try to analyze it step by step. The topic is on to a new subject is not your girlfriend hot. Your name is God. You are a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
So you are saying i should just do what i please with her?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
it is now

Then he just stopped talking, i think he has a call on line 301,323,983,231,324

Resume conversation:
Me:
she is freaking fine
God:
freaking fine is she?
Me:
ya i would do her

Once again God gets another call... he needs to like get a seceratary or atleast have Jesus field some of these calls... man this sucks, i hate waiting for him to get back... i guess George Bush is on the phone, he has alot of things he needs to ask forgiveness for,

still waiting... well ill let George talk to him, i cant wait forever for God, i have to die sometime.